My whole life, as an artist, I've always told the naysayers to GTFO. I never let them get to me. Every negative person, every dream-crusher and person just trying to get me to 'be realistic', I never listened to them.

Little did I know that slowly but surely, they would chip away at my subconscious until finally, they had me believing that I was selfish and shallow and unrealistic and incapable and unworthy.

I am none of those things.

So many have told me how shallow I am, and I thought, "If everyone is saying it, maybe it's true."
It wasn't everyone that was saying it, they were just the loudest.
Maybe I am shallow, if shallow means having high standards and accepting nothing less than you deserve. Yes, I am interested in people who look a certain way, on the inside and out, and no longer will I defend my decisions on that matter. Yes, I indulge in material things and I enjoy being taken care of and surprised and showered with love and praise. I deserve those things.

I've allowed myself to stoop so low that they only place I can go is up, and I've got to stop making excuses. I've got to stop rounding corners and turning around and being afraid of the unknown.

I just have to, this is killing me.

∞