The days are flying by and weeks are over and gone before I can look up from it all. My brain has seemingly gotten quieter but the urgency of so many things keeps getting louder. I've stopped trying to fit it, for now. I'm just existing. I exist on the outside of everyone's circles, laughing at their stories not because I know, just because I want to feel laughter. I think people notice this about me and feel awkward, like they want me to belong but know that I can't because I don't do the same things they do. I don't sit around and smoke a bowl for fun or have a beer to take the edge off. I feel like I thrive on that edge and enjoy it and everyone else tries to make it disappear.

But every time I find someone like me, or a group of fun people and we all get together, they just get down to being exactly like everyone else. While they may just do it for fun, maybe it isn't a dependency for them, but smoking weed and drinking every day, honestly, is ridiculous.

That's it, it's ridiculous.

You think smoking weed is cool? Awesome. You like drinking beer? Awesome. You want to do it every day? Awesome.

Are you really doing yourself any favors? Are you really having that much fun? Is life really that boring otherwise?

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