Tonight, it rains. But I've never felt clearer than I do at this moment.

I wish I could take back a few things, and while I'm not a person of regret, I am a person of mistakes that didn't have to be made. One of them is the way I treat the people who care about me; especially my boyfriend. Without realizing it, I'm selfish in the ways that I discount and criticize him, yet I think myself caring and compassionate because I think of him while I'm gone. How absurd? Very. I owe him much more than I give, and I consider this the beginning of me being a more worthy and nice person, especially to him.

In the past couple of days, I've learned a great deal about myself and opened my heart and mind to the goodness in my life that I've been too lazy to notice. How easy it seemed to just subconsciously wallow in the bad when in truth, the good outweighed everything tremendously.

While I continue to urge myself to quit making excuses, I still haven't. I still haven't applied to art school, or booked my plane ticket, or signed up for the gym & changed my eating habits, or begun to work on my latest and greatest brainchild project. Still, I will give myself credit for the steps I have taken, being careful not to let them satisfy me.

Things are going to get much better.

∞